Extraits de mon roman en anglais :
Queers ("des gens bizarres")
Living as a dandy
My name's Brian Vane. I'm a 25 year-old boy, and I live in Tinseltown, California, but I come from New Orleans, Louisiana. My only study is to dress, ostentatiously, beautifully, and fashionably. I'm an exquisite and I have no other profession than elegance . . . and no other status, but that of cultivating the idea of Beauty, in my own person. There are no beautiful things, without beautiful forms, and conversely. As it is impossible to extract, from a physical body, the qualities, which really constitute it, without reducing it to a hollow abstraction, in a word, without destroying it; just so it is impossible, to detach the form, from the idea, for the idea only exists by virtue of its form. I aspire to be sublime without any interruption, because I am not as much human as people think that I am. I am a simple image of the ethereal world of Ideas. I have been singled out for a great gift : I live to dress, to fuck, and to die in front of a mirror.
My trade, my office, my existence consist in the wearing of the most glamorous Clothes and the glitziest make-up. The all-importance of Clothes has sprung up in my intellect of dandy, without any effort, like an instinct of genius : I was inspired with Clothes, and I became a poet of Clothing. Being is the sphere of knowledge and dressing well is to know the nature of the human being. Every faculty of my soul, of my spirit, of my person is consecrated to this one object, the wearing of Clothes wisely and well: so that the others dress to live, I live to dress...
I am fond of Aubrey Beardsley's illustrations for Oscar Wilde's Salomé, for their grotesquery and cruelty. They have a diabolic beauty, that depicts Sin, but Sin transfigured as a pagan value. The world of Beardsley is inhabited by phantoms, whose desire of perfecting mortal sensations, has over passed mortal limits.
If he had not been an artist, Beardsley would probably have been a Baudelairean writer, as he described himself as « man of letters ». He had for example planned to write a book on Rousseau. I think with Jean-Jacques Rousseau that the development of knowledge and culture promoted immorality, and led to idleness and inner vacuum. There are a lot of examples among graduates and College teachers.
Man wears clothes, because of the feeling of guilt, inspired by Christianity, so I cannot be myself, without wearing a Japanese mask, and glamorous clothes.
If I had lived in Greece, I would have lived completely naked, and everybody would have seen my genitals, and Sex would have been the center of my Cult. This is why I memorize the words to the porno movies : they sound like a new religion to me.
I would like, that people worship Beauty again, as they did in Ancient times, when they did venerate Almighty Love and the Naked body of a boy, also called Venus and Adonis.
Yesterday, i saw a girl, called Leslie. She’s the daughter of a College teacher. I do not know exactly, where she is from, maybe that she swept from the bayou. She looked very pale; more than the Moon, when it wanes, and this whore wore the same make-up, as Marilyn Manson, when he was appearing onstage, during the Antichrist Superstar era. Leslie does not work; she is a prostitute, sleeping, with men and especially drunkards, for money, but she hopes to become a famous actress, or to work in television. She may have no mirror in her house, or has it broken the day she saw her face, for the first time? Looking at her, I had a vision of nightmare. I saw a woman, sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, and she was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication, with all the debauchees of the streets. And upon her forehead was written her name, Babylon the Great, the Mother of Harlots and Abominations of the Earth. L
Leslie is a junkie. There’s a hole in her soul, that she fills with dope and she’s feeling fine. That’s the only way she has found to forget her pitiful existence. Leslie thinks she’s a rebel, because she does drugs, but she’s just completely ludicrous, for she does not even see that drugs will destroy her, and never help. I understand that everybody’s looking for a little something. If I remember well the song, some men need some killer weed, some men need cocaine. Some men need some women, other men need alcohol, but women are only looking for power to gratify any of their whims and to spread their venom. They were designed to be scourges for Man, worst than plagues. That's the reason why I call them the maids of Death. I do not think that the four Horsemen of the Book of Revelation exist, but I do know that the Great Whore is not a myth. When you are love, you are blinded by Cupid’s darts, and you believe that Woman is a gift of Gods, but then you realize that she’s quite dangerous.
Eve brought evil into the world.
The history of women is the history of the worst form of tragedy, the world has ever known. It is the only kind of tragedy that lasts, and it will last until the doomsday, the absolute power of adders, that corrupts everything, everybody, anywhere. Nothing refines but intellect, but women are only preoccupied with their inner vacuum. Because of their inner vacuum and superficiality, they do harm to feeble people, in order to control them. They are scarcely looking for Beauty, for they do not even have the slightest idea of what Aesthetics is.
Brahim Megherbi Editions - HAUS OF GOLGOTHA - Tous droits réservés - 2019